Air Maisy

I was minding my own business, just making oatmeal as I should, when my eyes were drawn down to the floor. What I saw was just an ordinary red beach ball. It wasn't very big, about the size of a small cantaloupe. I'd seen it a million times before.

But today, I had a idea. Maybe it was the train of thought I had been going down just minutes earlier. I had been thinking about movies, then about dogs, then about movies with dogs in them, and then I thought about the movie Air Bud and how much I loved it.
Maybe that's why I noticed the ball.
After staring at it for a good 2 seconds, I thought" It sure would be cool if Maisy could hit a ball in the air like Buddy did." So call me crazy, but I tried it.
This is the result..........

1) Sit on the floor and call Maisy over
2) Scold her for being on the table licking Q's oatmeal bowl
3) Clean her sticky chin
4) Get her in position about a foot in front of me and command her to sit
5) Show her the ball
6) Reposition her, as she has already wandered away
7) Throw the ball directly in front of her and watch in dismay as she watched it fall to the ground
8) Throw the ball again and feel a spark of hope when she moved towards it
9) I should probably mention now that it was only 2 inches and more of a glance than a real move
10) Throw it yet again with not much expectation
11) She did it!!! Jumped right up off the ground and hit it high into the air with her snout!!!!!!
12) I scared her cute curly tail right under her furry little body with my shrill shriek of delight
13) Did it about 10 more time with smashing results (the Air Maisy Show, not the shrieking)
14) The whole family came down wondering what was going on
15) Maisy performed beautifully for the whole family
16) She was doing so good that we decided to reward her with cheese each time she hit the ball.
17) Bad move

She was so distracted by the cheese that every other thought left her fluffy little head. Despite our pleas, the ball bounced off her back, head, and every other place a ball could land with absolutely no results. We even moved to a different room and still all she thought about was the stupid cheese. Like owner like dog. However, we are weak, so we finally gave her the cheese.

Once she realized that it was gone, she was back in action! Twisting, twirling, jumping, hitting it almost to the ceiling! We were so proud. And everyone even gave me all the credit for teaching her!

Yep, I'm feeling pretty special right now!

~Laurel

$100 shower curtains

It started as a normal day, waking up at the crack of God-forsaken dawn, because in Portland the sun comes up after 7am. Got ready in 21 minutes due to falling back to sleep for 10. Arrived at choir early and regretted that I had decided not to find socks in favor of eating Breakfast and was envisioning the blisters i would get. Class started as usual...stretching, massages, warm-ups, Ms. Wright running out b/c she forgot something... when our wonderful Choir teacher told Laurel and I our choir dresses had come in.

Needless to say, I was very excited. I had waited almost a month to see the thing I spent $90 on.
At first glance, everything appeared fine. Then I took the skirt out of the bag and found that it didn't move without a battle (gotta love taffeta). After I got the thing on, the girl assisting me informed me that the skirt need to sit on my natural waist. "Wow, homeschool style!"
The shirt isn't much better, as it's made of very heavy velvet, and I can't for the life of me figure out the zipper. But Laurel and could breath in the dresses and that was all that mattered. So we were sent back into class and everything was all hunky-dory...until we got home.

The second we walked in the house we had to try them on. "So I can see how funny you look" Don't you love little sisters? So, after much "convincing" *cough* threatening. we put on the objects of nightmares.

"Good grief paigy, you are going to sweat SOOO much in that" thanks Claire, you're such a doll.

"Hey! If you cut the skirts in half and sew them together, we'll have a new shower curtain!" Well, Olivia if you want to pay for a $100+ for a shower curtain, be my guest.
"
HAHAHAHA you could HIDE in that funny skirt!" Quentin thinks he's God's gift to comedy
"
"When you're all in a big group, those will look great on stage. And you'll be glad you kept those when you get older." Who said anything about keeping them, Mother?

After about 15 minuted of everyone, including me and Laurel, laughing hysterically, the dresses got put away until the concert in a couple weeks where we will be forced to wear them in public. But I think it'll be OK...everyone else will be wearing one to!! HAHAHAHAHA

Shoes, Sushi, and Butterscotch Pie!

My last blog was basically just a rant, and after I wrote it, I really didn't think about it anymore. And today I realized that I didn't write about anything happy that happened on my birthday! Silly me! So this is what happened...........
On Wednesday, we totally pulled a Philippine birthday thing. We brought our own cake to GU. It was really fun watching that huge cake disappear in all of 2 minutes! I thought it was really funny until I didn't get any :( However, I made up for it at Red Robin! Nicole B. was having a little celebration there for her Birthday, but I got ice cream too!

That Saturday was the best! An amazing family friend took us to the Woodburn stores and proceeded to buy us......
ME:Shoes, sweatshirt, T-shirt, and shoelaces.
Paige: Shoes, sweatshirt, t-shirt, and hat.
(you've probably see us wear everything numerous times! Aren't the shoes cool?!)

Dinner was even better, since he bought us the biggest tray of sushi you've ever seen!
And as if that wasn't enough, he picked up Made of Honor and watched it with us! Then, during the middle, he brought out a homemade butterscotch pie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yep, he made us a pie, and let me tell you, I about passed out it was so good! So be verrrry jealous. THANK YOU ERIK!

So that is my happy 16th birthday story.

~Laurel

My Surprise

I was going to write a blog about my birthday: What I got, What I did, How much fun I had...... But then something happened. This will be a little about my birthday to give you the whole story. I'll start off with telling you what my dad got me for my birthday. I was expecting him to actually completely forget about it, and I was OK with that. So when I found out that he not only remembered, but got me a present, I had mixed feelings about it. I mean, what would he get me? So when the $50 gift certificates arrived for me and Paige, I thought it was a good present and I was happy about it!

But, of course.... it was too good to be true. Later that day my mom got a call from the vice-president of her insurance company. Turns out he had been working late and decided to pull up my parents' policy. Well, my mom's was all up to date, but it seemed that my dad's hadn't been paid since March, so it had been cancelled! The insurance agent had wanted to make sure we were aware. Of course we were. NOT. Well, thanks dad! If something happens to you, there is no insurance money, but at least we'll have $50 to Nordstrom!

But it was this morning that was the real shocker! I got up, made tea, went to choir....the usual. Except when my mom picked us up, I knew something was wrong. How did I know? Two seconds after I got in the car, she said "are you sitting down?" Not a good sign. I knew it was most likely about dad, so with a groan, I said "What happened now." She said "Guess." It only took one guess and Paige beat me to it. "Dad got fired, didn't he." Her silence and tight smile was enough.

I can't say I was surprised. I wanted to be, but I wasn't. I always kind of knew it would happen someday. I didn't want it to, but it did.

-Laurel

the butter made from peanuts

Today I came to a revelation. One so huge, it will probably change my life. How could I have not realized, not experienced this before. I thought I had it all figured out. Life was simple.
Apples were meant to be eaten by themselves, and peanut butter went on a spoon, complementing chocolate milk.
How could a life-changing moment come out of this, you ask? Well, allow me tell you a story. One that will probably make you simultaneously laugh and cry from the sheer awesomeness of it.

Once upon a time......... A couple weeks ago, I found myself in a kitchen. The family there was happily munching away on a snack, and me, never to turn down food, accepted their offer to help myself. What was on the table shocked me, although not at first.
I looked and saw apple slices. Normal, I thought. Then, I saw chunky peanut butter. Also normal. Both delicious, but quite regular.

But then, to my dismay, I quickly observed that there were no spoons! How can you eat peanut butter without spoons! I looked around the table frantically, trying to figure it out. My heart racing, I looked to the simplest place for help. If he knew what to do, I was sure to figure it out. I rested my wandering eyes on the 3 year old. He had just picked up an apple slice, and, to my shock, was propelling it with chubby fingers towards the chunky peanut butter! As I looked on in disbelief, he scooped up some peanut butter with the apple and took a bite!

"How can this be!" I thought, marveling at the sight. But it was true, and I had to try it! Quickly, before I could change my mind, I heaped the butter made from peanuts onto my apple slice and took a bite. I slowly chewed, allowing the flavors to meld and blend together. I thoughtfully swallowed, and with a new mentality, I quietly, almost in a whisper, said "This...Is...Good. And then I knew, that snack time would never be the same.

Laurel

Soccer Kids

Why did I agree to do this? I don't think I had to, I probably could have said no. But if I had I wouldn't have had the experience I had last night.

Last night was my first soccer game as a coach.

Let me explain something to you, I don't like soccer. I thought I did, I tried to at age 10. But soccer and I don't get along, maybe it's the running? It could be the fact that for an entire season all I did was run back and forth and back and forth with my only job being to keep the ball on the field. It could also be the fact that I only made one goal the entire season. Or maybe it's because I didn't get a trophy at the end of the year. We could go really deep and say it's because Laurel's soccer pictures turned out better than mine. Whatever the reason, I never wanted to have anything to do with soccer again, especially after being a referee at age 13.( I don't like to talk about this. Big mistake. Painful memories.)

Even after this fervent promise, when Olivia, Claire, and Quentin signed up for soccer just weeks ago. I found myself in a whirlwind of vague questions and answers, what I believe to be somewhat false information, and slight pressure from all sides. I found myself agreeing to co-head coach Quentin's soccer team. I felt pretty confident about this decision. I mean I was only a co-coach. Until I found out who my other co-coach was...Laurel. When we found out we tried to back down. But it was too late, they had already sent out the schedule with every coaches name and what team they were coaching. Salt in the wound was we didn't even get our own names on it, they put us down as the Tyson Twins. I am so not kidding, it was very demeaning.

but all in all I thought it would turn out OK. I mean, how hard could it be to teach 3, 4, and 5 year olds how to play soccer...You have absolutely no idea.

to be continued...

Paige

Whatever

So this morning, I went downstairs to get a fudgesickle, but then I saw the ice cream and that made me think of the candy in the outside freezer. So I went out there to get some and decided I wanted strawberry freezer jam which made me think of cereal. So I went to the pantry to get that, but we were out of kix and I thought against the whole cereal thing because I saw chocolate pudding and I thought about making that, but I didn't want to stir for 5 minutes and that made me think of a fudgesickle again but when I got back to the freezer there was just a orange creamsickle which is TOTALLY different from a fudgesickle and thats what I had finally decided on!! And by that time I was too overwelmed so I just went upstairs with nothing...and I was sad.

Thats it. I just felt like sharing.

~Paige~

Missing out?

Fathers play a huge part in their daughters lives. They are the protectors, and the leaders. They are the ones who take care that everything is alright, making sure our bodies are never hurting and keeping our delicate minds protected.

They are the ones who discipline us when we're wrong, while always letting us know they love us. Fathers tell us we are beautiful even on our worst days. They are the spiritual leaders at home, guiding the family in prayer, reading the Bible and showing it put into practice.

They are the example of what to look for in a husband. Being there to help you when you think that you've found the right guy. Dads are so vital in a girls life.

Or so I've heard.

I don't even know for sure. I've never seen any of that in my life. Ever. It was like I've never even had a father. He never cared if I was alright, or if I was worrying about having enough food to eat. Instead of protecting my mind, he abused and even invaded it. He just about destroyed my innocence.

Discipline? He always put that on my mom. He almost never said the most important words "I love you". When he did, they were always hollow, and I knew they didn't mean anything. He was always silent even when I would come right out and ask him "Am I beautiful?"

He never prayed with us unless there was a major crisis, and his Bible would just collect dust. But he would always go to church and pretend he was close to God. Did he do it just to confuse me? As for a future husband, I always thought "All I have to do is find someone the opposite of dad and I'll be set."

I was always worried about what would happen after high school, when I would decide to start dating. I knew I couldn't trust his judgment. I always pictured a dad who would be there to threaten my date with a baseball bat. It hurt to know that would never exist. And what about my wedding day? The idea of him walking me down the aisle made me sick inside.

He never truly cared about what I was interested in. Even for a couple years when I first played softball, he would help coach. I always knew it was just for the recognition he got for it. You could tell by how he talked, and by looking at his eyes. He didn't really pay attention to me.

And music? I love to sing, so you'd think it would be natural for him, a college music major, to at least teach me the basics. But he never did, even when I would beg him to.

He hurt me with so many different kinds of abuse. I mean, what 10 year old feels guilty whenever her dad takes the family out to eat because she knew that the car might be repossessed, or that they were having to move again because they were going to get kicked out of their house!

Boy, does it feel like I grew up fast. As I see it, he basically stole my childhood. At a very young age, I learned that I didn't have a father.

And then I realized that I do have one. He is my heavenly Father, and He knows me better than anyone else ever could. He knows what I've been through and what I need. He knows what I'm interested in and who I'm going to marry. He knows My past, present, and future.

And now I know that He will always protect me and be there for me. He tells me in His word that I am "fearfully and wonderfully made", no matter what anyone else has to say. He loves me more than even a perfect earthly father could. He is all I need to survive. I am so thankful He showed me that I have a true father and that I learned it at a young age.

I also know that I would go through all the pain again just to discover that I am truly a Daughter of God. Now looking back, I guess that I didn't miss out on anything at all.

~Laurel

Campmeeting

Campmeeting. hmm. Those words probably don't mean a whole lot, if anything, to you. But to us (twins), wow, it's so much. It's so hard to explain in few enough words for someone to get it. My parents, their parents, their parents, and so on. All grew up in that church. What church you ask? The church that started this infamous meeting called camp.

It is (dun, dun, dun...dramatic pause) Apostolic Faith Church..."AF." A-F. Yes, we were AFers. Down below, you will see pictures of the "tabernacle" It is where they have their services for two weeks during campmeeting. The whole area is right across the street from the Portland "HQ" church. It's kind of like a camp ground with cabins and places to park your trailer. It also has a restaurant that has the best food ever! (made from recipes passed down from great-grandmothers)

As we said, our ancestors all went there. And we attended AF until we were 3 years old. When we were three, our parents made the switch to City Bible Church. But every year, we would always go to campmeeting at least once. Now, you must understand that most of my family has gone to campmeeting at one time or another. Many of them still do, so when we show up it's like being in the middle of one great big family reunion!

For them.

Not so much for us, because for the life of us, we can never figure out who half the people are when they ask "Are you Paige, or Laurel?" And we look at them and think, "OH MY STINKIN'WORD. HOW DO YOU KNOW ME?!" Because we are looking at them, staring at them even, and we honestly have not one single solitary clue on this whole planet who they are.

Seriously. So you just grin, bear it and give the appearance of remembrance and recognition. This happens about 2 dozen times during the night. That, not including the other 3 dozen people we do know!

Like so many of the kids our age we grew up with. Our moms were pregnant together and we would play in church nursery as babies. Even though we never saw them very often, we'd totally reconnect as soon as we saw them. It seemed like not a day had gone by since we were together.

This year was especially cool because we got to spend the night for the first time. Even though "technically", we weren't supposed to be there. But we got special permission since we are seriously, related to so many people. Some of them "conveniently" being pastors!

Yeah, we have good times at Campmeeting.


Paige and Laurel

The Passing

Well, The time has finally come. The time to leave behind what once was. Time for it to again become what now is. We have decided to pass the infamous baton to a younger generation so they can learn and experience all that these lessons have for them.




Yes, Laurel and I have decided it is time for us to pass down our pink plastic storage bin of "Adventures in Odyssey" to Olivia, Claire and Quentin.




~sigh~




This is actually a very big step in our lives. Ever since we were about 3 1/2 years old we have listened to at least 1 episode of AIO every single night before we went to bed. EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. That is over 2,600 nights of having the voices of Whit, Connie, Eugene, Tom, Bernard, and so many others speaking to us and teaching us lessons we might not have otherwise learned.


So, here is to our "second family". The one who existed only through our ears and imaginations. The one who taught us not to lie, cheat, steal, or ever buy anything from Bart Rathbone and expect it to work. May you speak to our little siblings the same way you spoke to us, with God right there in the middle of it.


Thank you, Adventures in Odyssey. Here's to you!



Paige.


BTW. Our family still usually listens to an episode while we are eating lunch!!

Dumb Ugly Mutt

Well... My dog looks like a humane society reject. You know, the one where you go on the website and it says "no picture available"? I shall explain. After Paige and I tried to give our dog a haircut we learned a few things.
1) Our dog is deathly afraid of the sound scissors make
2) She never stops moving
3) I don't know how to cut hair
4) So I guess what I'm saying is that I don't know how to cut a cowering dog whose eyes roll back in her head whenever she sees/hears scissors.

We are going to send her to a professional groomer. Except I'm kind of embarrassed to show my face at the groomers.I mean, what, "Hi, I ruined my dog so now she looks like an moron! Can you help me? "


Yeah. It's that bad

Laurel

P.S. Anyone know a good dog groomer that will keep my name confidential?

I've always loved the unexpected things in life. You know, the things that get your heart pumping, your blood flowing, your mouth watering......well you kind of get the picture. Its great! So let me tell you about an event of that exact order and capacity that happened just the other day!

Our day started out as any old day normally would; breakfast, lunch, work, the occasional sneeze (well, maybe not so occasional). But this most wonderful thing happened after work.

We were driving along a beautiful country road to get home, "arguing" with each other about what type of house we liked best. Paige and I agreed that the farmhouse colonial type was best, while our mother thought that something more streamlined and updated was the way to go. It got pretty heated, punches were being thrown, blood everywhere, and then our fun was very abruptly halted at the longest line of traffic ever! I mean, why is there traffic on a small country road! It ruins the whole effect! But as it turns out, it was a sign. A sign of something better to come. A sign that there is still a God at work in our lives today. Yes, my friend, It was a sign for a strawberry stand.

Paige started shrieking at the top of her lungs "STRAWBERRIES! STRAWBERRIES! STOP THE CAR!" Which of course, was quite unnecessary, as we were already stopped in traffic. But at least her heart was in it. And her lungs got quite a workout, so I guess it was worthwhile.

We pulled up to the stand and requested 2 flats of strawberries, but to our dismay, they only had 1 1/2 flats left. We quickly took the last of the strawberries and headed home.

Now you might be wondering what the heck a person could to with 14 pints of strawberries. The answer is quite simple. Make strawberry freezer jam!

The process to make this coveted freezer jam is a interesting one.

It basically only requires a person to crush each strawberry with a fork. And while this may sound easy, It is a lengthy process that requires patience and skill. So it helps if you have a movie or TV show on while you crush. In our case it was Gilmore Girls. That show is somehow addicting, just like the freezer jam! Anyway, The result of this fabulously unexpected day was 6 quarts of strawberry freezer jam! Maybe that doesn't sound to great to the average Joe (no offence to anyone who found this uninteresting), but to me, this was about the most perfect end to a day.

And it just goes to show you that whenever something seems bad (like being stuck in traffic) and that nothing good could ever come from it. Maybe it could be to prepare you for something better...now if you will excuse me, I think I need a nice strawberry snack!

Laurel

Starting out

I'm alone. I'm going crazy. Is it supposed to be like this? Nobody cares.

Ever thought that? Not necessarily in the context of just every teens' life, but when you are in a situation where you can't speak out; there is something in you that makes you hide. And most of the time you don't even realize you are doing it because after a while, it's natural. It's fear, it is now what this blog is about. Not fear necessarily, but the journey from it and into peace. The journey from abuse, into something better.

In this blog we are going to figure out how to deal with the abuse that nobody can see, because of the so-called logic that has been programmed into you telling you it's not real, that you are crazy for thinking something is wrong, because this is your life and it can't change.

Guess what? That logic is false. I have been through and am still going through emotional, spiritual, financial, psychological and mental abuse from my dad. And most of my life I thought it was normal. I thought that every family was like that and there was nothing I could do. Just make a perfect mask for the outside world and deal with it. But honestly, whenever you have to make a mask so nobody know what's going on, then there must be something wrong. Of course, I didn't even realize I had put on the false front, so I didn't think that it was wrong either.

Before I knew it (and I am still trying to wrap my head around this concept) I was living 2 different lives. One at home and one for every one else. At home I didn't have a "mask" but the most comfortable way to live was to hide my feelings and opinions and just agree with him if I wanted to stay out of the line of fire. The "mask" was for everyone else, was so everybody thought that our family was the picture of perfection.

All of us were so good at it. People would ask if we ever fought or had a disagreement, we would just give a little laugh and shrug. All the while fear was clutching at our hearts and minds making sure we never gave any hint as to what our life was like at home.

I can't tell you how many cover stories I made up to make sure my dad's reputation didn't get hurt. It makes me sick that my dad had me under his control so much that I would lie for him. He would ask me to hide mail before my mom got it, so, as he put it "we don't get into a fight" and, of course, I couldn't say no.

I hid things about my dad from my mom for almost 3 years. Finally, when we moved to southern Oregon, my sister and I started really talking to my mom about the abuse and other things we saw that he was doing wrong. We were able to help each other by talking things out and praying together.

I remember that it had finally gotten really bad when I was about 10. I was terrified of what he would do, what he had done, and what he constantly threatened to do again...leave. Yup, for years when he did something wrong, and he felt like some of his control was slipping away, he would pack his bags and leave. With me and my siblings crying for him not to go, and my mom begging him to stay - again. And he would just leave anyway. Showing no real emotion toward us at all. He would take our only car and leave us standing there, thinking it was our fault that he had left.

When he would come back he would give us the empty promise to never do it again. This happened more times than I can even dream about counting. But this is only one of the ways he used to keep us under his control. There are countless others. Everything from me not being able to remember a birthday where I haven't cried, to knowing we were going to get kicked out of our house - again - because, even though my dad made plenty of money to support his family, I don't know where it all went. We have been kicked out of 4 houses in 3 years because he didn't pay rent.

So, I have spent most of my life trying to forget my life.

Then, in January of 2008 he pulled the ultimatum, he was threatening to leave again (what else is new) but this time he was actually looking into how much he'd have to pay mom for child support, how much a divorce would cost, and then...he brought home the divorce papers, signed them and moved out.

He actually rented a moving truck, took all the stuff he wanted, and moved in with his cousin. This might sound weird, but right now I couldn't be happier. Life is just starting to become clear to me. I am realizing that everyday life can be the most wonderful experience anyone could ask for. I am finally starting to know what the actual peace of God feels like.

There is a verse that has been on my heart for a couple of years now, it's what has got me through some of the hardest times of my life. It's an instruction from God, and for me, also a promise. It's Romans 12:12 - Rejoice in this confident hope, be patient in times of trouble and keep on praying.

Goodness knows I need hope. I've definitely had my fair share of trouble. But, I have trusted God to be my father and provider; and I haven't stopped praying. That's the only thing that has got me through the hell that has been my life.

Now, I've started a new chapter in my life, one where I don't have a mask, it's just my face...and from where I'm sitting, life is pretty stinkin' amazing from this point of view.

My name is Paige, and I'm starting to survive.